Goodbyes

Goodnights have became goodbyes.

I do not invite hellos anymore.

They are toxic to my heart.

Only because I had allowed it.

I granted permission for the access.

It infected me to a point…

I could no longer eat without you.

I could still taste the last meal we had.

And it has spoiled my taste buds.

As if the food has been laying there for days.

I could no longer sleep in the bed we shared.

I could still smell your odor on the mattress.

And I feel sickened by the smell.

As if your corpse has found home there.

I no longer need you.

But maybe if I see you one last time.

I can say the goodbye that was disguised

By a goodnight from you.

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